A Penitent Heart
by Galenne
Summary: [InuKag, 2part] Isn't love protecting the one who is most special to you? In a wild twist of fate, Inuyasha kills Kikyo in front of Kagome... and because of Kagome. Will Kagome ever be able to live and love with the burden of another person's death?
1. Chapter 1

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Why do I have to sit so still?!" Inu-Yasha cried, fidgeting every which way. Kagome grit her teeth to keep from smacking his already injured side, just to keep him from moving. A chuckle arose from Kaede's hut not 5 yards away from them. The smoke that came through the roof billowed in the breeze and scattered. The same breeze carried warm currents towards the group as they basked in the afternoon sun. Inu-Yasha had once again saved the village from a stray, man-eating demon. He didn't like to admit it, but he was actually proud to be protecting the village. If it mattered to Kagome, it mattered to him.  
  
"It's your fault anyway, for fighting as hard as you did, when you knew your body couldn't handle it! You were already injured!" She glanced at his blood-soaked arm and sighed. She would have to change that soon... again. This must be the 3rd time this week she thought. But she kept her tongue in her head as she finished bandaging Inu-Yasha's side. "There. Stop moving or it'll get loose again. Inu-Yasha!" She groaned in exasperation as he hefted the Tetsusaiga.  
  
"What?!" Inu-Yasha growled angrily. "Will you stop yelling at me about everything?!"  
  
"Will you listen to me, just once? Your injuries...!"  
  
"Feh." Inu-Yasha smirked at her. "These are nothing. They'll heal in no time."  
  
"That's what you said last time!" Kagome held him back by his arm and pleaded, holding back just enough of her pride. "Please, Inu-Yasha..."  
  
Inu-Yasha looked at her as his face softened. He sat down, but with a scowl that partially hid the face he would have worn if he had been open about giving in to her. He crossed his arms when he sat down and looked away from Kagome, who smiled gratefully and started to unroll more bandages for Inu-Yasha's arm. She took his arm gingerly from the cross on his chest and unrolled the blood-soaked bandages, then started to roll his arm again in clean ones. Nearly a half hour passed before she completed her task.  
  
"I must admit, I admire how Lady Kagome puts up with you, Inu-Yasha," Miroku spoke up from where he was napping under a tree. He cracked open an eyelid and peered at Inu-Yasha and Kagome.  
  
"And I must agree with Lord Miroku," Sango said, bouncing an infant on her knee while she sat near Miroku. The baby giggled playfully and wagged a fist at his mother. Sango laughed at her. "Little Ayame-chan..."  
  
"Oh yes, how is my little Ayame-hime?" Miroku crawled over to Sango and Ayame playfully and kissed his daughter's cheek. Ayame threw her arms around Miroku's neck as Inu-Yasha and Kagome looked on. Finally, Kagome packed up her backpack and shouldered it.   
  
"I'm heading back," she announced, before waving and starting off. "I'll be back in a few hours." Turning to look where she was going, she added to herself, "After I take a hot bath and do my homework... high school is so hard." She didn't notice Inu-Yasha until he walked beside her. When she gave him a sideways glance, he appeared to be looking out for signs of danger. Kagome sighed. "Inu-Yasha, I can look after myself, you know. Go back and play with the baby."  
  
"Feh. The baby can play with itself." Inu-Yasha gave her a sideways glance in return. "What's the matter? You don't want me to walk you home? Keep you from danger?"  
  
"Do you really not listen to me, or are you just trying to make me mad?" Kagome muttered as she raised an eyebrow. "I told you, I can look after myself. I don't need you to stand by me all the time. You took me home last time already, remember?"  
  
"But something could happen this time. Besides..." He paused, suddenly taking great interest in the trees beside the worn path on the way to the Bone-Eater's Well. "...I... just like to walk with you... is that so bad?"  
  
Kagome paused, a bit surprised. He never revealed his feelings. And what if Miroku and Sango were watching? And where was Shippo? He was usually around here... but maybe he went off with his friends from the village... Kagome thought. She shoved Shippo to the back of her mind and focused on her present state with Inu-Yasha. Stopping in the middle of the path made Inu-Yasha stop too, and she said to him, "I'll be fine. Okay? Go on. Spend time with Ayame-chan. Before she grows up thinking that 'scary face' is really scary." She chuckled at Ayame's nickname for Inu-Yasha.   
  
"So what if she does? I can be scary." He growled a few times at Kagome, throwing her into fits of laughter. "But if you keep insisting that I go... I guess I should. Be careful, you understand? You'll never know what in the world could be crawling around here." He raised a hand as if to stroke her cheek before turning it into fist, which quickly flattened itself in a waving gesture. He walked back in the direction of Sango, Miroku, and Ayame. Kagome was still trying to figure out what he was about to do while she waved back and smiled, then turned around to head for the well.  
  
Lost in thought, her feet slowly took her down the familiar path. It was so familiar, she didn't think about where she was going. Her feet knew just where to step, and where to avoid. Animals didn't bother to hide; they knew her to be harmless, even helpful at times. The sun shone brightly on the path, and trees provided occasional umbrages and cool spots on the ground. Her backpack was light, her head was in the clouds with thoughts of Inu-Yasha's behavior... and it was suddenly the perfect time... An arrow streaked by her cheek, grazing it deeply enough to let out a trickle of rich red blood. Kagome started with a jerk and looked up, alarmed. Her eyes scanned her surroundings and rested on a shadowy figure partly hidden by a tree. "Who are you?!"  
  
"Heh," was all the figure said, before she stepped out into the sun. Her lean frame in priestess's clothes was almost purely alabaster. Her white top gleamed in the sun, reflecting its rays, while the red, bottom half of her ensemble swished gracefully as she walked. Her long hair was tied back with a white sash. In her hands she held a bow, and on her back was a quiver full of arrows. Her face, so like Kagome's own, smirked at Kagome coldly as she drew another arrow from the quiver and fitted it onto the string. "Ohayo gozaimasu, Kagome-san."  
  
"Kikyo-san..." Kagome sucked in a quick breath, completely forgetting about the graze on her cheek. "W-What are you doing?!" This was the woman that Inu-Yasha was in love with. They had been together about 50 years before, before Naraku, a power hungry demon, decided to turn them against each other in order to turn a sacred jewel impure. The jewel would then be able to do incredible things for Naraku... but that was a different story. She never gave up on Inu-Yasha, since she was still in love with him, and he with her. But Kagome came into the story... Kagome, recalling the past history in less that half a second, almost knew what was coming before she finished her question. Kikyo wanted Inu-Yasha for herself. No one else was supposed to "have" him... Kagome gulped visibly.  
  
"I'm doing what I need to do," Kikyo replied in a serene voice. "I should have taken all of my opportunites more seriously. Inu-Yasha will be mine, do you understand...? His life belongs to me, and me alone." She aimed her arrow at Kagome, who stepped back fearfully. Kagome's eyes darted around to find a hiding place, and then darted back in Kikyo's direction as she heard the bowstring being drawn. If only I had my own bow and arrows... I could at least protect myself. The whistle would be next...  
  
Kagome quickly ran behind a thick tree as the arrow whistled by, its white aura leaving a thick trail. It landed about 30 yards from her, but even then she couls see that the arrow's head was deeply buried in the ground. She breathed deeply before she had to move again. This time Kikyo's arrow had buried itself in the tree and nearly shattered the trunk in half. Kagome leaped to avoid another one and landed on her feet and hands, her left knee bent and her other leg extended to stop herself from skidding. Her hands, unprotected and flat against the ground, were cut from rocks and various twigs that littered the forest floor. She ignored the pain and quickly leaped up, jumping behind another tree just in time.  
  
"You cannot run from me forever, Kagome. You will die, I guarantee." Kagome heard her sneer as she fitted another arrow into the bow. She moved quickly and prayed, Inu-Yasha... please come!  
  
This time, however, when Kikyo shot her arrow, it caught the flap on Kagome's school uniform and dragged her entire body to a tree, where she was stuck. The arrow was embedded so deeply, it looked like it had to be dug out of the tree. Kikyo calmly walked over to her, pulling out a katana from the sheath bound to her waist. Kagome eyed it nervously, backing up agains the tree in vain.  
  
"Do you like my newly acquired katana? I purchased it just for this purpose... the purpose of finally keeping you away from Inu-Yasha." She brought the blade to Kagome's throat and lightly ran the edge over her skin. However lightly she did it, the katana still drew blood. Kagome felt warm liquid oozing down her neck towards her uniform. Her mind called out Inu-Yasha's name as she tightly closed her eyes.  
  
She opened them quickly when she heard a familiar voice call out an attack, and blood, not her own, splattered all over her. In shock, Kagome almost forgot to breathe. She stared at Kikyo's lifeless body on the ground in front of her. Inu-Yasha grabbed her shoulders and shook her lightly. "Kagome! Kagome?! Are you all right? Kuso, you're bleeding..." She dumbly let Inu-Yasha draw her to him and felt cloth being wiped against her neck. More blood was wiped against her skin in the process. She felt the streak, and the stickiness brought her back to her senses. She frowned and started to pant heavily. Pushing Inu-Yasha away, she clasped her hands together and murmured brokenly, "Y-You killed her... you l-loved her... and you k-killed h-her... oh my God... and it's all b-because of m-me... if I h-hadn't... I w-wouldn't have... and she... oh my God..." She repeated incoherent phrases and slowly backed away from Inu-Yasha. Miroku ad Sango, with Ayame on Sango's back, appeared a few yards behind Inu-Yasha. They surveyed the scene before them to put the pieces together while Inu-Yasha frowned worriedly at Kagome. He held out his hands towards her, inviting her back to him. "Kagome... Kagome, come with me, you need to... Kagome!!!" He never finished his thoughts on what she needed to do. She ran into the forest, dropping the backpack on the way. Her guilt and shock were the only thins keeping her from crying so hard hiccups would come. It's all my fault... all my fault... and I can't stand it... She ran until she dropped from exhaustion in a clearing, with (fortunately) soft grass carpeting the area. Her tears finally came, and she cried herself to sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Sesshomaru sniffed the air as he walked along the dew-soaked grass. Rin and Jakken had insisted on staying behind at their newly-acquired small hut to sleep in, so he was free to move around wherever he pleased. But something had bothered him about the air. He sniffed again, sure there was an unusual whiff he couldn't place. He was probably too far. He plodded on at a swift place, following the scent instinctively.   
  
...  
  
"Kagome?" Inu-Yasha called. Dammit, where is she? He plowed ahead of Miroku and Sango, who were searching for Kagome with him.   
  
Sango muttered to herself until Moriku put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Ayame-chan will be fine. She's with Shippo, so she'll be fine." Sango nodded and smiled, taking comfort in Miroku's reassurance.  
  
Inu-Yasha yelled back at them, "Will you two stop flirting?! We need to find Kagome!" He angrily swiped a few branches in his way. Somehow, he knew he was just replacing worry with anger and annoyance. But he didn't care. As long as he knew whether Kagome was safe or not... that was what counted most. Everything else dropped below that priority.  
  
...  
  
Sesshomaru stepped into a clearing. He didn't need to sniff anymore; the origin of the scent was right in front of him. Why hadn't he recognized it? Blood was supposed to be his element, the liquid he swam in, the stuff he bathed himself with. Yet... it was true he had been slacking. No one to fight that was worth fighting, or killing. In any case, here was the real smell to back up the memory. He stepped nearer to a body lying in the grass, covered in blood. Strange... the blood somehow didn't smell real. More earth than anything else. He quietly stooped and moved the hair of the figure on the ground away from her face.  
  
"What?" he whispered to himself. "What are you doing here? Without Inu-Yasha... and covered in someone else's blood? ...Kagome?" He smiled to himself. Here was opportunity staring him straight in the face, and she was weak, he could tell. To add to that, Inu-Yasha needed to be taught once again how much better his brother was over him. Still smiling softly, he picked up Kagome, who was still sleeping, his nose automatically being drawn to her neck, where she had some of her own blood. He breathed deeply, bringing his face as close as he dared to her neck, and still she did not stir. He shifted her weight around until it was comfortable in his arms, and started to walk back to the hut.  
  
...  
  
Inu-Yasha's nose was worn. It picked up a million different scents, and still no Kagome. Had he gone the wrong way? He entered a clearing just as he had given up, but immediately caught a whiff of blood - Kagome's and Kikyo's. There was no mistake. He frantically glanced about, but saw no one. He smelled another all-too-familiar scent as well. So she had gone with Sesshomaru... it seems she had gone willingly. He couldn't find any evidence of a struggle. If she was unconscious, all she'd have to do when she woke up was to get up and leave him. Inu-Yasha would know by then whether she went willingly or not. His blood started to boil at the thought that she had left him for Sesshomaru. Jealousy had taken root quickly, and to mask it, annoyance.   
  
"Let's go back," he yelled to Sango and Miroku, who were combing the area he had left. "I think I know what happened. We don't need to look for her. And... I think she'll be fine with him."  
  
"With who? Who is Lady Kagome with?" Miroku asked. Somehow he knew it would be bad for his health, but he plunged on after Inu-Yasha anyway, who was taking large strides back in the direction of Kaede's hut.  
  
"Sesshomaru," Inu-Yasha replied though tightly-grit teeth.  
  
"Your brother? What would she be doing with him?" Sango said, surprise showing in every syllable.   
  
"How the hell should I know?! Feh. If she wants to be with him, that's fine with me. I can't understand why, though. But I know by now I can't force her to do anything, and it looks like she went with him willingly. I can't force her to come back; you know how she has a mind of her own." Inu-Yasha swiped a branch out of his way, effectively breaking it in half and leaving the broken piece on the ground by the tree it came from.  
  
"You're taking this more calmly and logically than I thought you would have," Miroku commented. "Perhaps it is because this time, you killed someone who truly mattered, right in front of Lady Kagome..."  
  
"I don't need to be reminded of that!" Inu-Yasha rounded on him, his fierce eyes boring into Miroku's calm ones.  
  
"And it looks as if you feel guilt towards having Kagome see what you did," Sango said, calmly staring at Inu-Yasha. "I'm sorry, but you need to hear this. We need to understand why Kagome has left us for Sesshomaru. Also, recall that she started to blame herself for the entire incident right before she ran away. She may be feeling guilt as well, though not the same as yours."  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes anxiously switched to Miroku when he started to talk.  
  
"Yes," Miroku continued. "Her guilt may come from being the cause of the whole incident; for her protection. Your guilt is having to have her see what you did, within two feet of her. You don't want to cause her any pain, as you see that you have."  
  
"I-I don't have to be analyzed to my face!" Inu-Yasha, red with anger and embarassment turned around quickly and half-ran the rest of the way towards Kaede's hut. But he knew Sango and Miroku were right. Kagome was in pain, because she thought she was the cause of the entire incident. He was in pain because he had put her through blood and gore. And he knew he had to leave her alone, and both of them should sort things out separately.   
  
He stopped walking quickly at the base of the tree by the hut, and pounded his fists into the trunk, creating two large gaping holes. He missed her. He wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be all right. She had done so much for him, changed him so much. Fifty years ago, in the same situation, he would have strode to where Sesshomaru and Kagome were and taken her by force. She had shown him that there were less violent ways - and sometimes they were better. And now, he couldn't do anything for her. He was the cause of her pain. His gaze dropped to Kagome's blood on his sleeve. She had pushed him away... he knew she needed time alone. But he wanted to hold her... He didn't let the whole argument with himself manifest itself once more in his mind. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He would never show his feelings. How weak he would look! He glanced up as he saw Miroku and Sango coming towards him from the forest, and Shippo and Ayame coming out to greet them. 


	3. Chapter 3

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Sesshomaru placed Kagome on the only bed in the hut, next to Rin. Jakken was on the other side, snoring as if his nostrils were plugged up and he was gasping for his last breaths. Rin stirred when she felt the mattress sink with Kagome's weight. Opening her eyes, she looked at Sesshomaru, then rubbed her eyes to clear her vision. She smiled and sat up. "Ohayo, Sesshomaru-sama. Daijoubu?"  
  
"Daijoubu, Rin," he replied, and took a seat near the bed.  
  
Rin stared at Kagome, then turned her gaze on Sesshomaru. "Sesshomaru-sama, who is this? Why is she here?"  
  
Sessho-maru smiled inwardly; the plot forming in his head was turning out quite nicely. Simple, yet very nice. It would put Inu-Yasha in his place, no more, no less. Outwardly, he answered Rin, "She will be staying with us for a while. Rin, why don't you take Jakken and go buy trinkets from the marketplace across the village? I'm sure you'll find something worth buying, perhaps a nice dress, or maybe even a bauble or two." He gave her a bag of coins. Rin joyfully yelped, now fully awake, and took the coins from Sesshomaru. She jostled Jakken awake with cries of "Jakken-sama, wake UP!" and when he half-opened his eyes, she grabbed his arm and pulled him from the bed. She changed quickly behind a screen, and while Jakken was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, she grabbed his arm once again and pulled him out the door.   
  
"Sesshomaru-samaaaa!" was Jakken's cry as he flew out the door. Sesshomaru only smiled, glad to have them out of the way. He knew Rin, and she took a very long time choosing things to buy. She and Jakken would be out for at least most of the day - plenty of time to carry out his plan.  
  
He pulled a basin of water to himself and a clean rag. Then he pulled out some women's clothes that had been left in the house. How fortunate that they have come into my hands he thought. He pulled up his sleeves and dipped the rag into the water, throughly soaking it, before wiping Kagome's face. She still hadn't stirred, but Sesshomaru knew she was still alive. He just assumed she was exhausted from something. Whatever the reason, it would become useful later on.  
  
He alternated dipping the rag and clenaing her off, taking off her clothes and putting the women's clothes he had found on her. He didn't touch her, knowing that he couldn't for the sake of his plan. After he had finished, she still slept, so he threw away the water and washed the basin, then washed the rag. While he put it on the a clothesline to dry outside, Kagome appeared at the door, alarmed and fully awake.  
  
"S-Sesshomaru?!" Kagome gasped. "What in all the...?! What did you do to me?!" She wrapped the clothes around her more tightly with hands white from the pressure. Her eyes were fierce as she stared at Sesshomaru, but he still detected her fear. Its scent was all over her, thrilling him. The hunt had begun. Despite his emotions inside, he kept his face bland, as was his custom, and finished draping the rag. Then he turned around and addressed Kagome, "You should lie down and rest. I don't know what you've been through, but even I can still see you're still tired."  
  
"I don't give a damn about that right now!" Kagome snapped. "I want to know how I got here in the first place and what you did to me! Why am I wearing these clothes?! The last thing I remember, I... I..." She studdenly stopped as everything came back to her. Panting a little, her grip on her clothes loosened and her eyes grew blank.  
  
Sesshomaru took her reactions to her remembering as signs of going in for the kill. He led her inside without her struggling and made her sit on the bed. It was time to do what he did best - take advantage of a fortuitous opportunity. Sitting in front of her, he asked gently and unwontedly, "What happened?"  
  
Before she knew it, Kagome was telling him everything. Her lonely walk to the well, her almost fatal meeting with Kikyo, and how Inu-Yasha had come to save her by killing Kikyo. It was all her fault... she repeated that phrase over and over. If only... what if... so many thoughts and possibilities and alternate endings ran through her mind while she spoke. It was like a confession to a priest. Sesshomaru sat through it all, listening intently for pieces of information he could use. And when he found them, he used them, and her vulnerability. Kagome finished her tale.  
  
Sesshomaru reached out and touched Kagome's cheek. Quickly, she pulled her head away and whispered brokenly, "No! Get away!"  
  
"Why do you turn away your benefactor? I took care of you when I found you in the forest, and brought you here. I did not touch you at all, I give you my word. And though that may not matter very much to you, I have never broken my word or any promise I have made." He moved his hand again, and this time, when he put his hand on her cheek and stroked it, Kagome didn't resist. "Inu-Yasha will come to his senses, you know. He'll remember that he loved Kikyo first, possibly more than you. And he'll remember that in saving you, he had to give up Kikyo, the woman he loved for more than 50 years. The woman he dedicated himself to protecting while he was hunting for the shards. Of course, he dedicated himself to protecting you, as well, but when it was Kikyo who called him away, he never hesitated to go." He watched for a moment as Kagome's eyes grew blank. He knew she would accept what he was stating so easily. She was vulnerable... vulnerability, when manipulated in the right hands, could benefit anyone. "And need I also tell you... if you and Inu-Yasha still became intimately involved, Kikyo would always be between you, more than she would be had she lived. And how do you know he won't turn on you? He is still half-demon, after all. What if he killed you? You of all people know he can't control his demon self, especially when he has repeatedly transformed in the past." He cupped her other cheek with his other hand, putting the icing on the cake. "But I, Sesshomaru, know the implications and obligations of being a full demon. I know control, and boundaries, and am more loyal than Inu-Yasha when choosing a mate. You know, Kagome-san, I've lately been looking at you, and watching you while you slept, and I simply cannot understand how you can be so beautiful. And talented. And brave."  
  
Kagome looked away. Should she go along? What about Inu-Yasha? Maybe Sesshomaru was right, and that Inu-Yasha was all of those things. He would hate her, and where would she be? Better to forget and go home, and never see Inu-Yasha again.   
  
Sesshomaru could see her weakening. Time to cap off the plan with a big bang. He placed two cool fingers under her chin and lifterd up her face. He met her confused, murky eyes and softly kissed her lips. Kagome gave a small gasp and stiffened for a moment... but only a moment.  
  
Her first reaction was to step away. In-depth thought only supported what she thought to be true: Inu-Yasha was going to hate her anyway.  
  
Sesshomaru felt her resistance disappear completely, and leaned forward slowly, finally putting her in a position where she was lying down on the bed, and he was over her. He clasped one of her hands gently and held it down against the mattress, then did the same with her other hand. Once he knew she would keep her hands where they were, he slowly moved his hands to her shirt hem, where Kagome grabbed his hands and pulled her mouth away from his.  
  
"This is a little too fast..." she said haltingly.  
  
"I can make everything go away... all of your troubles, all of your fears..." he whispered, bringing his mouth close to her ear, then running his lips over her neck. He heard Kagome groan softly and smiled. His plans were always perfect.  
  
She couldn't resist. He was right, she could forget everything, even for a few minutes. And he said he loved her. He looked like he meant it, and he said he never broke his word. Perhaps the incident with Inu-Yasha happened so that this could occur. Maybe she was fated to be with Sesshomaru after all. She ran her hands through his hair gingerly as she felt his hands at the hem of her shirt. Her fingers tightened instinctively as he drew her shirt up and over her head...  
  
...  
  
"I have an ominous feeling about this," Miroku stated matter-of-factly. Sango turned to look at him while plying with Ayame.  
  
"What do you mean?" Inu-Yasha asked him. "She needs her time alone."  
  
"Yes, but with Sesshomaru?" Miroku shook his head. "She would be better of with us. You can go away, Inu-Yasha, while she gets time to herself." In the next moment, he was gripping the back of his head where a small lump was forming. Sango shook her head and dusted off her hands. Then she turned to Inu-Yasha.  
  
"I partly agree with m'lord. Perhaps she would heal better with us than with that heartless bakayarou. I think you should go and fetch her. I recently heard that he purchased a house for Rin at the other side of the forest, or maybe for another motive. i don't quite know. I only hear some gossip from time to time." She made shoo-ing motions with her hands. "Go ahead, Inu-Yasha, we'll prepare for your coming back with Kagome."  
  
"Ka-go-me!" Ayame squealed.  
  
"Wonderful. She can say Kagome's name, but not even a 'tou-chan' for me," Miroku muttered.  
  
Sango laughed and lightly kissed Miroku's cheek. "In due time, Sir Monk."  
  
Inu-Yasha didn't say anything, but stood up and started walking towards the forest.  
  
"Do you think he and Lady Kagome will soon overcome this rather large obstacle?" Miroku asked Sango as he picked up Ayame.  
  
"I hope so," Sango replied, watching Miroku and Ayame play. 


	4. Chapter 4

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Kagome felt a sudden chill as Sesshomaru moved off the bed. She gathered the covers closer around her naked body and cracked an eye open to see Sesshomaru. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Nowhere," Sesshomaru answered. "But he is coming here. You had best make yourself presentable, as I will also make myself decent."  
  
"Who's coming? How do you know?"  
  
"I know because he has a very distinct scent."  
  
"You never answered the first part." She never thought it could be Inu-Yasha. He was as good as dead to her, as she probably was to him.  
  
Sesshomaru never answered her, but started to put his clothes back on. Kagome, puzzled, didn't move, except to encircle Sesshomaru's waist with her arms when he sat back down on the bed. She rested her cheek firmly against his hard back and closed her eyes, only to snap them open again at a sharp knock. A familiarly biting voice yelled, "Kagome, you in there?" A pause. "It's Inu-Yasha! Come on, we're going home!"  
  
"What?" she whispered. He hated her. What was he doing here? She was the reason he killed the woman he loved. He probably didn't even love her. What in the world was going on...? She fearfully turned to Sesshomaru, who smirked.   
  
"This is going much better than I had originally thought," he said. He stood up and left Kagome, then opened the door for inu-Yasha.   
  
"Sesshomaru, brother dear," Inu-Yasha spat as he stepped into the 1-room house. He looked around slowly as he said, "Where are keeping Kagome... captive?" He stared in surprise at Kagome. She, in the meantime, kept her eyes averted, and gathered the covers around her more tightly, revealing that she was stark naked under the sheets. "Kagome...? Why are you...? What have you...?" The situation dawned on him and he turned angry eyes towards Sesshomaru. "What did you do to her, you fucking bastard?!" He grabbed Sesshomaru's collar and angrily put his face up close to Sesshomaru's. He bared his teeth for effect, but Sesshomaru was still calm.   
  
"We slept together," he said matter-of-factly.  
  
Inu-Yasha, surprised at the bluntness of the statement, let go. "What?!"  
  
"And it was glorious. She was so willing, especially since her precious Inu-Yasha hates her. She was the reason Kikyo died. If only something else had happened..." Sesshomaru sneered, adding gas to the flame.  
  
"Stop! Just stop! Inu-Yasha!" Kagome called, but Inu-Yasha was already out the door. "You said... you said..." Her eyes searched Sesshomaru's and found his plan, or at least part of it. "You were lying all along. You son of a..." She quickly put on her regular clothes (which had been washed earlieer by Sesshomaru) under the covers as Sesshomaru laughed and moved outside. She searched the house, figuring that he never looked around, and retrieved, very fortuitously, a bow and a few arrows. She picked them up just as Sesshomaru came back in.  
  
"Tell my dear younger brother that I can take everything he owns if I wanted to. Tell him I control him. That has been his lesson all along." Sesshomaru stepped out of her way, smirking. Kagome balled her fists, them flattened one of them. Her palm connected with Sesshomaru's cheek and his head snapped back.   
  
She glared at him coldly. "I need a bath. I'm too dirty."  
  
His head calmly turned in her direction and his mouth was in the form of a sneer. "You only realized that now? Inu-Yash has tainted you, and you are dirty." Sesshomaru nudged her off the door frame and slammed the door in her face. Kagome gave the door a final withering look and turned to walk back to Kaede's hut.  
  
...  
  
"Inu-Yasha is taking a bit of a long time," Sango remarked. Ayame rested inside the hut, sleeping beside Kaede, who was worn out from her morning duties as healer and doctor. Miroku opened his eyes. His head was resting on her lap and she had been soothingly stroking his hair.  
  
"It means something has happened." Miroku frowned. "They will be heading here soon, I think. Or not. But I do sense a foreboding aura in the forest, quite unlike the actual aura of the forest itself."  
  
"Mm." Sango was disturbed, but she knew better than to barge into one of Kagome's and Inu-Yasha's fights. She rested her head back against the tree and continued to stroke Miroku's hair. Miroku, content as a kitten, closed his eyes once more.  
  
...  
  
Inu-Yasha stopped at the sacred tree in the forest, a confused look on his face. The memories connected to the tree returned to him, though a bit unwelcome. He grimaced as he remembered how he and Kagome met, because of the large demon that was attacking her. A centipede? A millipede? Even that small fact mad eit hard for him to remember. So he simply sat down in front of it and crossed his legs and arms. His eyes gazed at the exact spot that he had been bound to for 50 years. A lot of things has changed since then, hasn't it? he thought sadly. And now things kept changing. It was inevitable, he supposed. And yet, things don't change. People do. Which is what happened between him and Kagome. Had she only recently turned to him, or was she trying to go to him all along? The thought stung his heart, and he looked down at his lap, as if to hide from the world the hurt look onhis face.  
  
At that moment, Kagome stumbled through a particularly bushy area of the forest. She had been lost, but had found her way to the sacred tree. She could always find her way to Kaede's from there. She stopped stumbling and stood still as she saw Inu-Yasha. All she could do was stare.  
  
Inu-Yasha sensed a presence behind him, tired, and stinking of sweat. Underneath those stenches was Kagome's familiar sweet scent. Yet now, it was not so sweet. He looked at Kagome, the hurt in his eyes changing to hate. She had betrayed him. He had killed someone for her, left her alone to think about what she was feeling, and here he had found she had bedded his brother! Bile rose from his throat as he stood to face her. He just wanted to... Swiftly he shaped his hands to bare his claws and opened his mouth in a growl, showing his canines. He launched himself quickly at Kagome, ready to tear her apart.  
  
Kagome, snapping back to reality when she saw Inu-Yasha's tensed form, ran out of the way just in the nick of time. But two bloody gashes appeared on her arm, from Inu-Yasha's claws. "Inu-Yasha, stop! What are you doing?! I can undestand that you're mad, but..." Her words stopped at her throat as she watched Inu-Yasha's controlled movement to stand upright. He tensely cracked his fingers.  
  
"You slept with my brother. How could you...?" He never finished his sentence. Cracking his fingers again, he raised his arms to slash Kagome down. Kagome, quickly moving out of the way, realized that he truly meant to hurt her. Was his hate that great? It didn't matter right now. All she needed to do at this point was survive... long enough to calm down Inu-Yasha and talk. She gripped her bow and an arrow tightly and fitted the arrow to the string when she landed none too gracefully on her two feet. Inu-Yasha had stopped a foot from the tree and turned around again, preparing for another attack. He flew through the air with a growl of rage, only to be shot back with Kagome's arrow. The arrow took him to the tree and pinned him there, and an old, familiar feeling rushed through his body. The same feeling he experienced when Kikyo had shot him to the same tree 50 years ago. He looked back at Kagome, who was approaching him steadily.  
  
"Inu-Yasha...?" Kagome said softly. He had the oddest look on his face at the moment, as if remembering something. Then he slowly started to look drowsy, his face becoming somewhat serene and peaceful.  
  
"Kagome... why...? Don't you love... me?" He had to know before this familiar feeling confirmed itself to be true.  
  
"I made you kill her... I'm the reason... and you hate me for it," she whispered. "Inu-Yasha what's happening to you? Why are so sleepy all of a sudden?"  
  
"Kagome... I would never hate you... I don't know what to feel right now. How... could you have slept with Sesshomaru?" A tear rolled down his cheek as he struggled to stay awake.  
  
"Inu-Yasha... I-"  
  
"I love you, Kagome..." His eyes closed as he rested his head against the trunk of the tree. 


	5. Chapter 5

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Kagome stood in front of the sacred tree for a few more moments before Inu-Yasha's sleeping form sunk in. "Inu-Yasha...?" When she received no response, she began to panic. This was how he had looked when she first saw him, after she had first come through the well. He had been under a spell, and was incapacitated... the spell was Kikyo's, and it was encased in the arrow that was through his chest. It looked like he was in the same predicament as before, only now... it was her arrow that imprisoned him, and it could only be her who would free him. No one else knew that Inu-Yasha was trapped again. Kagome moved to take the arrow, but stopped, thinking. Thinking of what would happen if she took out the arrow. He said he would never hate her... but he had been crying, even a little. And if she could fall for Sesshomaru's tricks so easily, she would fall for more, and put Inu-Yasha in danger. She couldn't bear to put him through all of that. And besides, maybe in another 50 years, some smarter, prettier girl might come and free Inu-Yasha. Yeah, it would be better for both of them if they let go now. She started to walk away in the direction of Kaede's hut, but stopped. She couldn't go back there. The others would ask her what she was doing without Inu-Yasha. She ran off, intending to look for the well, but instead only ran deeper into the forest...  
  
...  
  
Jakken and Rin, laden with pretty things for Rin to wear, play with, and whatnot, wandered slowly, very lost indeed.  
  
"Are you sure you know where you're going, Jakken-sama?" Rin asked innocently.  
  
Jakken, starting to become a little panicked, snapped back, "Of course! I have an incredible sense of direction!" In truth, he had no idea where he was going. "L-Let's go through here, I'm sure we'll be back at the hut in no time at all." He pushed back some foliage and pushed Rin through unceremoniously, then followed behind her, only to collide with her back. They both tumbled down, along with all of their purchases. "RIN?! What are you doing just standing around and - " He looked to where Rin was staring and gasped.  
  
"Jakken-sama, what is that?" she whispered, horrified.  
  
Jakken recognized it immediately as Inu-Yasha, and also recognized the old tree. "Well I'll be! It's Lord Sesshomaru's..."  
  
"My what?" Sesshomaru appeared behind them. "Rin, what happened? I've been awaiting your return all day."  
  
"Jakken-sama and I were just heading back, Sesshomaru-sama. But I think Jakken-sama got lost, and here we are. Sesshomaru-sama, who is that?" She pointed up at Inu-Yasha in the tree.  
  
Sesshomaru recognized the arrow as one of the few that Kagome had brought with her from the hut. He smiled at Inu-Yasha's form and then turned to leave. "Come, Rin. That thing is of no use to us." He walked into the forest with Rin following closely behind him. Jakken was too ecstatic to have heard Sesshomaru.  
  
"I've never heard you talk so smugly, Sesshomaru-sama! It must be your doing! Congratulations, you've finally put your brother in his - " He broke off when he tried to turn a grinning face to Sesshomaru. but couldn't find him anywhere. "Sesshomaru-sama? Where are youuuuuu?" He started to sob, but sucked in his breath sharply. He had to find the hut. That was the only place they could have gone to. It was only too bad he strode in the direction of Kaede's hut instead.  
  
...  
  
"Miroku, I am becoming very worried about Kagome and Inu-Yasha." Sango turned troubled eyes to Miroku, who was passing the time playing with Ayame.  
  
"Hmm? Ow... Ayame-chan, please stop pulling my ears so hard," Miroku berated. Ayame only took it as an encouragement to pull harder than she had ever pulled before. "Inu-Yasha and Kagome can... OW!... take care of themselves, Sango. OW! I am sure they are quite safe. OW! However, my ears are... OW!... not." He glared at Ayame and handed her over to Sango without another word. Ayame pouted and started to cry in her mother's arms. She extended her arms Miroku's way and opened and closed her little fists, indicating she wanted to be held by Miroku.   
  
"Miroku, she wants her tou-chan," Sango laughed.  
  
Ayame made bubling noises before she said a coherent, "Tou-chan!" and then resumed her bubbling noises. Miroku turned to Sango in wonder and excitement. "Did you hear that, Sango? She said..."  
  
"Hai, she said 'tou-chan'!" Sango replied enthusiastically. She handed Ayame to Miroku, who laughed merrily and stood up with Ayame, then swung her around in the air. Ayame giggled even more and sang, "Tou-chan, tou-cha - eh?"  
  
"Eh! She said, 'eh'!" Miroku laughed.   
  
"Eh at what?" Sango said, turning her head to where Ayame was ebulliently pointing. "My goodness, it's Jakken!"  
  
"Eh? Jakken?" Miroku turned to look too, and lowered Ayame a little bit. "Eh?" she said. The grown-ups seemed to like it when she said that small word. "Eh? Eh?"  
  
But this time the grown-ups were preoccupied. Jakken, meanwhile, looked very distressed. He moved this way and that, scratching his head and muttering to himself. "Where could the hut be...?"  
  
"The hut? You're lost, aren't you, Jakken?" Miroku laughed.  
  
Jakken looked up, surprised to find himself at the hut, and going the wrong way. "I was so sure it would be this way! But, hey, why are you laughing, you miserable monk? Or don't you know that Sesshomaru-sama has finally won against that stupid half-demon?" he sneered.  
  
"What? What about Inu-Yasha?" Sango scrambled to her feet and grabbed Jakken before he could run away. She clutched his throat and shook a little, while Miroku patted her arm in an attempt to calm her.   
  
"Sango-chan, we still need to pump information out of him. Please keep him alive, at least for the time being."  
  
"Kaa-chan..." Ayame said wonderingly.  
  
"Kaa-chan!? She said 'Kaa-chan!!'" she gave Jakken to Miroku to hold and took Ayame, spinning her around joyfully.  
  
"Sango-chan, ano... we need to deal with this one.. though I am very happy with you..."  
  
"Of course. Gomen ne." She leaned down to Jakken's level with Ayame on her back, piggy-back style. Her hand gripped her hiraikotsu, soldily thunking Jakken's head. "Spill, short stuff. Before I split you in half. And your precious Sesshomaru-sama won't be missing you, I think."  
  
Jakken trembled visibly before blurting out the story of how he and Rin were out.. and later found by Sesshomaru, who had smiled upon seeing Inu-Yasha stuck at the tree. And how he had sounded so smug...  
  
"Inu-Yasha is at the tree once again?" Miroku said in alarm.  
  
"Scary face?" Ayame gurgled. Sango rocked her, and went inside to put her down with Kaede. She emerged form the hut a few minuted later, with all of her demon exterminator tools. Miroku was keeping an eye on Jakken, who was being scolded by Rin.  
  
"Rin? What are you doing here?" Sango asked her.  
  
"I came to get Jakken-sama. I asked Sesshomaru-sama if I should get him, since he wasn't coming to the hut anytime soon. I thought he was lost again, despite his excellent sense of direction!" Rin beamed at Jakken, who turned red and shook his head.  
  
"Rin, do you know what happened to Inu-Yasha?" Miroku asked.  
  
"I don't, but I think Sesshomaru-sama does. He said it was no concern of ours, but he had his happy tone. The kind of voice he gets when he's truly happy." Rin smiled, getting an idea. "Come, I will take you to Sesshomaru-sama and you shall ask him! Do not worry, I know he will not hurt you, for I will ask him not to!" She skipped off ahead of them, dragging a whining Jakken with her.  
  
"She knows of Sesshomaru's doings, yet she still stays with him? I wonder why?" Sango mused.  
  
"I suppose she's not as innocent as we had all supposed. Come, Sango-chan, we shall go ask 'Sesshomaru-sama'," he snickered, and started the march towards the hut, with Sango a few steps behind him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Voume 1  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama! I have brought friends!" Rin squealed. She bounced happily as she called towards the hut again, "Sesshomaru-sama! Come out! My friends need to speak with you!" Jakken thunked her on the head solidly with his two-headed staff. "Don't speak to Sesshomaru-sama in that way!"  
  
A fist came down on Jakken's head as a bump visibly protruded from his scalp. Jakked clutched his head in pain and looked up into Sesshomaru's annoyed face. "Do not speak to Rin like that, Jakken," he said quite calmly. Jakken just nodded and moved out of the way. Sesshomaru straightened and bade Rin move aside a bit to talk to Miroku and Sango. They, in turn, clutched the rosary and the hiraikotsu, respectively.  
  
"What happened to Inu-Yasha, Sesshomaru?" Sango asked threateningly, her hand gripping the hiraikotsu tighter.  
  
"I am not my brother's keeper," Sesshomaru replied, sounding bored.  
  
"But you do know what happened. All we want is an explanation as to why Inu-Yasha is once again bound to the sacred tree." Miroku's voice was calm and collected, yet his hand, too, tightened on the rosary beads.  
  
Sesshomaru smiled eerily. "And what if I do know? Why would I share it with you? But I'll humor you, nonetheless. Your precious friend Inu-Yasha was bound to the tree by none other than your other precious friend, Kagome."  
  
"No..." Sango gasped. "Why would she...?"  
  
"Because she was upset, of course. She wouldn't have had reason to do so otherwise." Sesshomaru examined the forest around them with sudden interest and sneered. "She had run after Inu-Yasha because he found out she had become intimate with another demon..." His eyes snapped back to Sango and Miroku. "Guess who that was?"  
  
"You bastard!" Miroku cried, unclasping the rosary from his wrist. But he put it away again when Rin stepped forward, in front of Sesshomaru.  
  
"No, please! I know what your hole does, Monk-san," Rin pleaded. "Do not hurt Sesshomaru-sama!"  
  
Miroku sneered, grasping the beads in anger so tightly his knuckles turned white. "How cowardly of you, Sesshomaru, to hide behind a child!"  
  
"I am not hiding. I am merely letting her express her affections. In any case, I would have been able to exterminate you even if Rin hadn't stepped in the way."  
  
Miroku swallowed, knowing it to be true. He made a small face and glared at Sesshomaru.  
  
"Now then. Before I was so rudely interrupted... Kagome did it quite willingly, mind you. I only seduced her. My overall goal was to send a clear message to Inu-Yasha - that whatever he owns can be mine. He has forgotten that as of late. But I suppose my plans are better than even I realized. No matter, the brilliance of my thinking is now recognized. Inu-Yasha, I suppose, was so upset that he attacked her. I could see marks on the ground where Inu-Yasha's claws scraped the dirt. Kagome had no choice but to defend herself, using a bow and arrows that she found in this house. As to why she did not free Inu-Yasha, I don't know. But does he not make a lovely tree ornament?" He laughed.  
  
Sango gulped noisily. Sesshomaru never laughed... "Where is Kagome now?"   
  
"If I knew I certainly wouldn't tell you."  
  
"Kuso!" Miroku cried in frustration. But he couldn't do anything... Rin would... and such innocence should never be put in danger.  
  
Surprisingly, Rin started to cry. She turned her face to Sesshomaru and gripped his sleeve. "Sesshomaru-sama... did you hurt their friend? And the girl... I don't see her here. Is she hurt too? Please, Sesshomaru-sama, don't do bad things anymore... Let's help them..."  
  
Sesshomaru stared at Rin, his face never changing, staying as bland as it ever was. Rin was crrying... it seemed like it was his fault. He was, after all, the one with the plan. The plan to put Inu-Yasha in his place. It worked beautifully. But Rin was crying. He sighed inwardly and raised his eyes from Rin to Sango and Miroku.  
  
What...? Miroku had watched the entire exchange disbelievingly. Rin was sticking up for them. She was so innocent... she considered everyone her friend. And Sesshomaru... he could see Sesshomaru relenting inside. It looked as if he wanted to protect her innocence. Well. The bastard has a soft spot after all. He gripped his rosary beads unconsciously, waiting for Sesshomaru's response. Sango had been thinking along the same lines as Miroku, and now as she saw Miroku's hand tighten around the beads, she rested a hand on his shoulder, willing him to wait. She held her breath when Sesshomaru looked at them.  
  
"I shall help you. For Rin," he clarified.  
  
Miroku didn't crack a smile, though inside he was crumbling with relief. "Arigato gozaimasu."  
  
"Hai, arigato," Sango said also, giving him the tiniest bow she could muster.  
  
Sesshomaru gave a half grimace, half sneer. "Do not thank me. Thank Rin."  
  
"Arigato goazimasu, Rin-san." This time Miroku smiled at the young girl.  
  
"Hai, arigato gozaimasu." Sango smiled too.  
  
Rin grinned back happily and bowed in return, then beamed up at Sesshomaru. "Is not Sesshomaru-sama wonderful?"  
  
"I wouldn't say wonderful..." Snago muttered as she turned around. Out loud, she said, "The tree is this way. You can pick up Kagome's scent from there and lead us to where she is." Miroku followed after her, and then Sesshomaru and Rin. Jakken, meanwhile, cackled.  
  
"So, Inu-Yasha really is a dirty half-breed after all! He can't even stand up to a wimpy HUMAN!" he laughed. "That idiot you call a priestess! I can't believe even Inu-Yasha couldn't handle her! Sesshomaru-sama... you are such a genius! She was so stupid, however, that she fell for everything!"  
  
Miroku, with a dead glare, turned around immediately to a laughing Jakken, who didn't know what the monk was up to until it was too late. The little demon received several blows to the head with the staff and more than a few sharp kicks to his buttocks. He lay nursing his bruises as Miroku turned around, far from satisfied. Self-restraint... self-restraint... Miroku thought to himself as he glanced at Sesshomaru, who passed him.  
  
Sesshomaru, meanwhile, gave Jakken even harder his with his fists, claws, and foot. "Are you saying my plans are so simple? They are quite cleverly devised, I'll have you know, and I can bring down anyone who stands in my way, for I, Sesshomaru, am the greatest demon to have walked this earth!" A few more kicks punctuated his sentence, and then he turned around to follow Miroku, Sango, and Rin. Rin was laughing at Jakken (who nursed new bruises in places he couldn't even describe - Sesshomaru was so brutal), no remorse, no pity in her eyes.  
  
"Sessomaru-sama, you're so wonderful!" she cried.  
  
...  
  
The next morning, Kagome heard the sound of water before she saw the source. Stepping outside of a clearing, she came upon a river. Thankfully scooping up some in her hands, she brought it to her mouth and drank deeply, repeating the process a few more times to satisfy her thirst. Then she washed her face and stood up, dusting off her skirt automatically. What was she doing? She could never be clean. Not with what she had done. Looking up and down the river, Kagome made her decision. She walked north, towards the waterfall, steadily avoiding rocks and scaring away small animals. When she came to the waterfall, she gazed at the thundering base, at all the jagged, sharp rocks... and then slowly climbed the smooth stones to the top. Her eyes began to water as she climbed, remembering how Inu-Yasha sat at the very top one time, gazing at the vast beauty of the land. She would do so also... one last time...  
  
...  
  
"Are you sure she went this way?!" Miroku growled irritably. They had been following the same path for hours, and it seemed as though it was leading nowhere.  
  
"When you own the keenness of my nose, monk, then you may ask that question," Sesshomaru said bluntly, in his bland way. Miroku snorted and muttered a few choice curses, which were ignored by Sesshomaru. Sango, however, gave him a look that said, "You had better not do that in front of the baby..."  
  
Miroku gave her a small, feeble smile and walked on. He emerged from a clearing, following Sesshomaru, and followed by the rest, minus Jakken. He was still in pain.  
  
"So she was here?" Sango ventured. "It figures, with the river as a water source. Though I should say, I would come here for the view, as well." Miroku nodded in agreement, taking note of the river itself. It was not very wide, though fairly deep. Grass lned the sides and no bare patch of earth was to be seen. Trees lined the sides of the river, though far enough from the edge that rocks formed, as if to take the place of chairs. The trees themselves cast large shadows, perfect for napping on a hot day. The river sported a few fish once in a wihle, and the water was as clear as glass.   
  
"Yes, she was here." Sesshomaru was about to go on, when a panting Rin tugged on his sleeve.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama, can we stay here for a while? Onegai?" she asked.  
  
"Of course." He sat down without even consulting with Sango or Miroku. They, however, had no qualms, and readily sat down. The pace Sesshomaru had set was a demanding one, though it didn't seem so to Sessomaru himself.  
  
Miroku chose to sit by the river, dipping his naked feet (he had taken off his sandals and rolled up his pants) into the water and swirling them around. Sango sat beside him, doing the same. She put aside her hiraikotsu and lay her head on Miroku's shoulder. Miroku rested his cheek on her head and sighed deeply. His hand searched hers until he found it, entwining their fingers.  
  
Sango smiled. "We haven't been able to do this in a while..."  
  
"I hope you're not complaining," Miroku teased. "But you're right. Ever since Ayame was born... it's been so long. She's not even a year old, and already, it's been so long."  
  
"Mmm," Sango replied, turning her head to nuzzle her nose at the base of Miroku's head. She inhaled deeply, breathing in Miroku's sweet scent, and rubbed her nose sideways against his throat. Miroku only responded by bringing up their hands and kissing her callused knuckles.  
  
...  
  
Kagome breathed heavily, letting her exhausted lungs take a break. She lay her back on the ground, against hard stone. After a few moments, she sat up, this time panting lightly. She shaded her eyes against the glare of the sun and gazed at the countryside. The forest wasn't very dense, and she could see empty spots... the place where the tree was... she could even see the smoke from Kaede's hut, beyond the forest. Her eyes rested on the empty space where the well was. She shook her head emphatically. She couldn't go back there. How could she face her family knowing what she had done? Her eyes misted over, thinking about Sota and Ojii-chan... and Kaa-chan... and her friends at school... she couldn't face them. She just couldn't. They wouldn't miss her anyway. Her gaze snapped back from within herself to out into the sky. Birds flew through the air, and one let out its bowels, narrowly missing her and going down the waterfall. She hadn't realized how close she was. But forgetting that, she took the secretion as a sign from God, telling her what she was, right in front of her face. Well, she got the message. But first... she would spend a few more moments reminiscing... watching life unfold from the pinnacle of the world.  
  
...  
  
Ten minutes later, Kagome stood up, having finally said her goodbyes. Her feet took her to the edge of the waterfall, facing the point where the corner of the rocks met empty air. She never gulped, never looked down. She felt so sure... this all felt so right... she took a deep breath and stared once more at the empty blue sky above her. She thanked the one up high for every blessing and every person in her life... and with memories of Inu-Yasha... Inu-Yasha when they first met at the tree... him fighting with Koga for her... the small moments that reminded her he loved her... she closed her eyes for the last time.  
  
...  
  
"Are we there yet?" Miroku snapped. They had gotten up 10 minutes before, only to be led at the same demanding pace Sesshomaru had set before, except this time, they were fully refreshed.  
  
Sesshomaru didn't respond as he came to a halt at the base of a waterfall. Scents sometimes got lost around water... but Kagome's was clear, for some reason. He could distinctly smell tears and regret mixed with sweat and pain. Wordlessly, he started to climb the stones easily, pausing to hitch Rin onto his back. Sango and Miroku followed, eventually passing Sesshomaru. They pulled themselves up, panting heavily at the steep climb.   
  
Sango lifted her eyes... to see Kagome poised to jump at the edge of the waterfall. "Miroku --!" she yelled, scrambling forward as well. Kagome jumped despite the noise behind her, waving them away from her thoughts as large animals who had come to feast. Her feet were a foot off the ground when she was rudely and roughly yanked back. She opened her eyes quickly to see blue sky again, and two familiar faces gazing at her with a mixture of worry and anger.  
  
"Kagome, what were you doing?!" Sango cried. Kagome focused on Miroku and Sango, anger and frustration welling up inside her.  
  
"What do you care, huh?! Why can't you let me die in peace?!" Kagome forced herself up. "I was fine! FINE! Until you came along! You shouldn't have stopped me.... you shouldn't have! I was ready, but now that I'm back... now I'm... not so sure... and I blame YOU!" In a fit of rage, she grabbed Sango's arm with one hand and Miroku's arm with the other, then forcibly pulled them to the edge. With a great deal of effort, she heaved the arms in her hands into the emptiness.  
  
Miokru realized what she was doing a split second before she pushed. Reaching up, he used his free arm to grab Sango's free arm, and twisted his captive one around to catch Kagome in the stomach. He used the momentum to pull himself and Sango back towards the rocks. Kagome was pushed back roughly, landing on her butt and elbows with a grand, "Ugh...!"  
  
Sango moved away from the edge, as did Miroku, as Kagome pulled herself up in defiance and anger. "Kuso! Why can't you...?!" She lunged at them again, blinded by her tears. Just then Sesshomaru moved in, having watched in amusement at the enitre spectacle from the side. He moved quickly in front of Kagome and punched her hard in the stomach. She collapsed into him without another word, and Sesshomaru held her up by her midsection. He threw her over his shoulder none too gently and led the way back to the tree without another word, Rin following behind. This time they'd take a less exhausting route.  
  
"You were almost too late, did you know that?!" Miroku snapped at Sesshomaru.  
  
Sango sighed and doubled over, leaning on her hiraikotsu. She turned to Miroku, who was panting lightly. "Daijoubu ka?"  
  
"Daijoubu," Miroku replid, smiling. "Let's go, Sango-chan." He started forward, only to be held back by Sango's arm on his shoulder.  
  
Sango gave him a sound, full, kiss, pouring her soul into it. When she broke it off, she grabbed his hand and pulled him in Sesshomaru's direction. He wouldn't have been able to move on his own, anyway. 


	7. Chapter 7

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Sesshomaru led the rest of the way towards the sacred tree, with Kagome unconsciously hanging off his shoulder all the way, while Rin was perched on his other shoulder. Sango and Miroku were forced to put up with Sesshomaru's rapid pace once again. When they arrived at the tree, Sango let out a gasp before clamping a hand over her mouth. She was seeing Inu-Yasha for the first time on the tree.  
  
Miroku walked up to Inu-Yasha wordlessly and examined his face. It was a mixture of peace, comfort, and anguish. He could also see traces of the tear Inu-Yasha shed. Miroku turned a steely gaze to Sesshomaru, who was putting Kagome down on a nearby rock. "You did this?"  
  
Sesshomaru glanced at Miroku before continuing to put Kagome down while Rin sat on his shoulder. "Yes," he grunted.  
  
"You..." Sango started, before Miroku cut her off with a hardened stare. Sango clamped her mouth shut, yet her face turned a light shade of pink from the rage she was feeling. She turned her eyes away from both men and focused on the ground until she got her temper under control.  
  
Sesshomaru finished putting her down, and Rin as well, since she had asked. He stepped away from Kagome just as she started to waken.  
  
"Ugh..." she half-moaned. She struggled to open her eyes and get the figure in front of her in focus. When she did, she leapt up with newfound energy. She saw Sesshomaru in front of her and was about to leap at him to try to claw his eyes out in renewed anger... when her gaze lifted to Inu-Yasha's sleeping form, above Sesshomaru's head. Her face turned soft and blank all of a sudden. Even in slumber, Inu-Yasha was still... so... And it was all her fault that he was there. She continued to stare at him while Miroku, Sango, Rin, and Sesshomaru watched her.  
  
"Well, she obviously is not going to attack me," Sesshomaru said dryly.  
  
"Sesshomaru, Rin, please leave," Miroku said, turning to face them. The hard look in his eyes were gone, replaced by something that resembled... pleading.  
  
"You have done all you can here," Sango put in. She, too, turned to look at them. "There is nothing more you can do."  
  
Sesshomaru shrugged. "As you wish. Come, Rin." He turned around and headed back to the hut, with Rin following behind him. She turned around for a final goodbye, saying, "I hope to see you again soon!"  
  
Miroku smiled slightly and waved to her, then turned to Kagome. She was still staring at Inu-Yasha's still form.  
  
"Kagome..." He took her hand worriedly. Kagome's eyes snapped back to reality and regarded Miroku warily. "Kagome, please free Inu-Yasha."  
  
Kagome paled. "No... I can't... Let me go...!" She started crying.  
  
"Please, Kagome. We need you to free Inu-Yasha." Sango stood behind Miorku.  
  
"He'll hate me... it's my fault! You must know what I've done, if you know that Inu-Yasha's here. You know I can't face him again. Not as I am now. ...I don't deserve him... He can do much better than me...! I- I can't do it! Get some other girl!" Kagome tried unsuccessfully to snatch her hands back away from Miroku, but to no avail. Miroku pleaded with his eyes.  
  
"Please, Kagome... I promise you won't have to look at him after you pull out the arrow." He knew he was lying. "Please free him, Kagome... you're his last hope."  
  
Kagome stared at him through teary eyes. He promised she wouldn't have to face Inu-Yasha... and she at least owed him her life, for all that he's done for her in the past. She meekly nodded and Miroku and Sango led her to the tree. Sango helped her stand against the trunk, and she pulled the arrow out. It disappeared immediately... just like the arrow before... Miroku helped her down, but grasped her wrist before she could run away. Kagome desperately tugged. "Miroku...! You promised!"  
  
"I lied. I won't let you leave until you resolve this fight with Inu-Yasha." He determinedly hung on to her and called out to Inu-Yasha, "Wake up, you insolent puppy!"  
  
Kagome froze as she saw Inu-Yasha's ear twitch in Miroku's direction. Then his nose moved, sniffing the air around him. She didn't notice when Sango and Miroku slipped away to spy on them, hiding themselves near very large bushes.  
  
Inu-Yasha slowly opened his eyes.  
  
The first person he saw... was Kagome. A pain filled his chest as he gazed at her without making a sound.  
  
Kagome was still frozen. Maybe if she didn't move, he wouldn't see her... so she stared at Inu-Yasha with wide eyes, not moving an inch.  
  
The exchange of stares only started to frustrate Inu-Yasha. He barely remembered what he had almost done to her. A look around the clearing, showing him deep gashes in the earth, made him remember everything. He looked at Kagome again, finally noticing the gash on her arm and dried blood on her shirtsleeve. He had done that. He wondered why Miroku or Sango hadn't taken care of it.  
  
He saw a small figure holding staff and a bucket creeping towards him, putting down the bucket about 5 feet away. Miroku had seen where Inu-Yasha's gaze fell and had immediately delivered the water, embarassed at his own blindness. He also dropped off a few bandages before retreating to join Sango once again.  
  
Kagome didn't notice. She thought Inu-Yasha was looking for something, the way his beautiful eyes moved from one thing to another... but for what? Why? To hurt her again? The thought sent a shiver down her spine. She tensed her legs, ready to run for the well. The eyes shifted nervously around, looking for a way out. There! That small hole int he foliage... that was her ticket home. Her eyes flicked back to Inu-Yasha, who had gotten down from the tree and was walking towards her calmly.  
  
Kagome's breath hitched in her throat as he came closer. What would he do...?  
  
Inu-Yasha only tugged her down gently, making her sit. He fetched the bucket and the bandages and sat down with them, in front of her. He ripped open her sleeve, neatly cutting it off from the rest of the shirt. Then he dipped a bandage in the water and started to clean the wound.  
  
Kagome watched him warily. He didn't look like he was going to harm her. And her arm was feeling better. She slowly relaxed, but still stayed a bit tense. He hadn't said a word since he awoke. What was he thinking? She winced as part of the gash opened again because of the small stretching Inu-Yasha was doing.  
  
Inu-Yasha frowned and looked remorseful as he put away the wet bandage for a moment and licked Kagome's cut.  
  
She gasped a little as she felt something soft and warm licking her blood. She stared at Inu-Yasha as he continued.  
  
He made sure it wasn't bleeding anymore, then proceeded to clean the gash, even more gently this time. When he finished the cleaning, he wrapped her arm up in the other bandages and held one of her hands in his. He looked at Kagome, his eyes reading something close to fear... fear that she might run away. He had noticed while he was cleaning her wound that she was so tense. Especially her legs. She could probably spring up and run at anytime.   
  
Kagome stopped herself and stared at their hands. She looked up at Inu-Yasha's face expectantly.  
  
"Kagome..." he began. His other hand made its way to her face, where he cupped a cheek and caressed her skin with his thumb. Kagome only widened her eyes in fear (of what?) and looked away from him. She could meet his eyes. She didn't want to see the pain...  
  
Inu-Yasha turned her face towards him firmly, putting two cool fingers under her chin. She was forced to look into his eyes... and she couldn't hold it. She started to cry, large tears running down her cheeks. Inu-Yasha worriedly wiped off some of the tears with his thumbs, sometimes kissing the spots he had just brushed. Kagome didn't protest. She just felt... weak. She hated that feeling. But it's wasn't as if she could help it...  
  
"Why are you crying?" he whispered. "Please stop crying... it hurts me... when you cry."  
  
Kagome broke away. What was he saying? Was this really Inu-Yasha? If it was, he got stupider. That or maybe... he really did... "I'm crying b-because..."   
  
"Because what?"  
  
"Because I love you." She had said it. After so long, she had said it. And she still looked him in the eye.  
  
"I love you too. Is that such a bad thing that you're crying?"  
  
"No... but I could get you killed."  
  
"No--"  
  
"YES!" She suddenly screamed. The tears poured out even more. Suddenly she was full of energy. She poured out everything she wanted to say... everything she had realized and tried to hide from... the reason why she had to die... "I can get you killed. I was stupid enough to believe in Sesshomaru. I was stupid and careless enough to be in danger of Kikyo, when I should know better... And I dragged you into it! You killed Kikyo for me. You almost went crazy because of me." In a fit of passion, she held Inu-Yasha's face between her palms. "I was the reason. And I can't bear it if I hurt you. And I already did. I don't deserve you, as much as I love you. And I know that may be selfish of me, but I'd rather that you live... even if it's with some other girl."  
  
"No..." he said hoarsely. He couldn't listen to her ramble anymore. What stupid nonsense was this girl blabbing? More stories from Sesshomaru? One look at her told him it came from her heart. She seriously belived this foolish babble. Well, he'd have to fix that. "It's not your fault you get in danger. It's mine." Kagome started to demur, but Inu-Yasha cut her off. "It's because you're around me. If you hadn't met me..." He shook the idea from his head. He couldn't imagine a life without her. Not anymore. "If we... were never... you wouldn't be in so much danger. It's my fault. And because of that, because I chose to let you stay with me, I will always protect you. Always." He put his hands on top of hers on his cheeks. "I'm so sorry for hurting you..." He stared guiltily at the bandaged wound.  
  
"You had a right to," she murmured. "I betrayed you... I couldn't trust you..."  
  
"Trust in me now." She heard the real pleading when he said.. "Please."  
  
"Kikyou will always be between us," she said flatly. "You loved her, and you threw it all away for me. I'm the reason. And I can't live with that. And..." she went on more softly. "I'm not a virgin for you anymore."  
  
"I love you for who you are. I always will. And it doesn't matter about Sesshomaru anymore. I love you more than that." He paused before continuing. "I forgive you."  
  
Kagome dumbly nodded in response and looked at the ground. "You didn't say anything about Kikyo."  
  
After a long moment Inu-Yasha said, "She would have died anyway, because of the souls..."  
  
Kagome visibly winced. "Don't lie to me, Inu-Yasha. I thought you loved me."  
  
"I love you enough to try to offer some peace of mind. But I see that won't work with you. You've always had a good heart. That's what I fell in love with, at first." He smiled feebly at her.  
  
She sighed and shook her head. She was about to stand where she felt herself being swept up in Inu-Yasha's large embrace. "Please don't go. Please don't leave me." He didn't bother to hide his suppliant tone. He murmured those words straight to her ear, hopefully to her heart... he didn't want her to leave him. She couldn't... "I don't regret anything I've ever done for you. Anything. Just forget about everything, okay? Let's just go back to being what we were before this whole thing."  
  
Kagome wrapped her arms around him tightly. Inu-Yasha's spirit lifted...  
  
She couldn't. She couldn't do it. How could she live with something like that on her conscience? It couldn't happen...  
  
Her tears fell again as she whispered, "I love you... forever..." and broke away as fast as she could. Hopefully he wouldn't follow her... she made a mad dash for the small hole in the foliage... the one that led to the well.  
  
"Kagome!" he watched her helplessly as she ran. He couldn't go after her. He couldn't force her to do anything. So he sat back and leaned against the tree. He covered his eyes with his hand and, choking back a hiccup, hoped no one would notice the water that fell from his eyes. 


	8. Chapter 8

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Three days. It had been three days since Kagome had run out of the forest. Three days since she had gone back to her world. Three lonely, grief-filled days.  
  
Inu-Yasha sighed as he shifted his folded arms. He was sitting on a branch of the tree by Kaede's hut, brooding as he had done for the past three days. Three days. He sighed again and looked up with sad eyes to the sky, wondering what Kagome was doing. He thought of her often enough. Those beautiful eyes... the lips he wanted to press hiw own to... the hair he wanted to feel underneath his fingers. Her scent... she had a nice scent. He wanted to take her into his arms and never let go. He wouldn't let go, not like the time she ran away to her own world, three days ago. Three days. He didn't think such a short amount of time could ever seem so long.  
  
Sango and Miroku were not far, watching Inu-Yasha with worry etched in their faces. Inu-Yasha had noticed them, but hadn't moved to berate them, or ask what they wanted. It was very much unlike him.  
  
"Do you think we should do something?" Sango whispered to Miroku.  
  
Miroku sighed like Inu-Yasha. "No. There is nothing we can do. Kagome doesn't want to be a burden for Inu-Yasha, since she is the reason Kikyou was killed, and because she thinks that anyone can hurt Inu-Yasha through her. Inu-Yasha won't push her because he knows she's hurting, though he is hurting also. He's being unusually sensitive."  
  
"He is. I suppose he wants to treat Kagome right after finding he could lose her anytime..."  
  
"I suppose." He paused. "Kagome, however, seems to be unusually selfish."  
  
"You mean she doesn't care about Inu-Yasha's feelings, and that she only wants to preserve him, even though it hurts him?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Then that is not selfish."  
  
"What? Yes it is. As long as she's happy..."  
  
"But she is thinking of him."  
  
"I suppose you could argue it both ways then."  
  
"Yes. That's right."  
  
"IF YOU'RE QUITE DONE!?!?" Inu-Yasha yelled from the tree. "I can hear you all the way from here!"  
  
...  
  
Kagome tapped her pencil on the notebook in front of her absently. It was the last period of the day, and she wanted to leave. She looked with bleary eyes out the window. What was... Her head snapped back to the notebook as she willed herself to stop thinking of him. It was over. Through. She couldn't go back now.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Ms. Higurashi. Please pay attention." The teacher had asked her to recite from the book. "Ms. Kinomoto, if you could please?"  
  
"Hai, sensei." Sakura stood up, but only after flashing a worried look in Kagome's direction. She'd been her friend her whole life, and only now had she ever seen Kagome look so sad and tired. She continued to read from the book as Kagome's eyes drifted out the window once more.  
  
Syaoran and Tomoyo also searched Kagome's face, trying to keep her from niticing. They didn't need to go thorugh the effort - Kagome wouldn't have noticed if a rat bit her on the nose. She just... went blank. They turned back to their books as the teacher droned on.  
  
...  
  
Kikyou knew she was close. She could almost smell Inu-Yasha. That damn bitch, Kagome, was probably with him. Well, they could just die.  
  
She touched her sleeve, where the blood that had poured out of her had stained it. Luckily it wasn't hard in when the farmer had tended to her. Her eyes glazed as she remembered.  
  
~~~  
  
The smell of blood reached her nostrils as soon as she awoke. Her eyes opened quickly and took in her surroundings. She touched her side gingerly and winced, though she was a bit surprised she could bleed.  
  
She stood up as quickly as she could and limped to a village nearby. There, she encountered a farmer, wiling away a break from the fields as he sat on the gorund near the first row. His nose immediately caught the scent of much blood, and turning around, he saw the priestess and healer that had helped his daughter survive the strain of disease that had infected his village a few years ago. He hurried towards her, spotting the red stain even before he caught the falling priestess. He called over a few hired hands who heped him put Kikyou on a cot in the chief's house. He had his daughter tend to Kikyou, since he knew nothing about healing and his daughter was a skilled healer.  
  
A day later, the priestess had stood up in the middle of the night and left after saying a quick goodbye and thank you.  
  
~~~  
  
She could still remember the hate that filled her every pore. She wanted to kill Inu-Yasha. And that bitch. That was what brought her on this road. To the village she grew up in. To the village that Inu-Yasha was staying at. To kill him.  
  
When she finally arrived there, she couldn't find Inu-Yasha. Only wondering stares and shaking heads as the villagers remembered that she was dead. This was only someone who looked coincidentally like her. She smirked to herself and moved on, following a path to the waterfall in the forest.  
  
He had always liked the waterfalls. She didn't know why, but he did. Surely he was there.  
  
...  
  
Inu-Yasha stretched without feeling as he sat at the top of the waterfall. After receiving glares from both Miroku and Sango, he had started to walk here. He knew he shouldn't have yelled at them. He knew they were watching. He didn't have the energy to curse them, but when they started to analyze his relationship with Kagome at that point... he snapped. What right did they have?! They didn't know his pain. His longing. He wanted her. Needed her. He hadn't been eating or sleeping for the past three days. Three days. He hated that number.   
  
So here he was, at the waterfalls. They always calmed him. He hoped the sound would drown out any thoughts he had of her. He needed time for himself, after all. But they didn't. Kagome's image kept pooping into his head. She was smiling, laughing... then crying, grieving... then embracing him. He could almost feel her warmth. Unconsciously, he made as if to wrap his arms around her form, but only met empty air. He snapped back to reality and cursed himself, though not as heartily as he would have liked. He didn't care what he did. He just wanted her.  
  
...  
  
"He's gone." Sango let out a breath and turned to Miroku, who was sitting at the table, sipping tea.  
  
"Yes, I know. He hasn't yelled ever since we glared at him." He sipped some more.  
  
"Where are Ayame and Kaede?"  
  
"I believe they are gone to the village to buy food."  
  
"Oh." SHe was disappointed. She had wanted to play with Ayame and hear her call her "Kaa-chan" again. Oh well. That would have to wait.  
  
"Sango." She jumped when she heard her own name whispered in her ear. She felt Miroku's arms slide around her waist (he was behind her) as she automatically leaned back to Miroku's embrace. Her head tilted as Miorku's mouth ran along her neck.  
  
"Miroku...?"  
  
"Ayame's out. Kaede is out. Inu-Yasha is out. So are Shippou and Kagome. This may not be the right time, but this place..." His mouth cruised over to her ear. "This place... we have it all to ourselves. And we haven't done anything since Ayame's birth." His hands gently moved towards the slip of her kimono and slipped inside. She felt his fingers tease her skin, sending shivers of pleasure racing up and down her spine.  
  
"Restless, I see?"  
  
"I can't believe you didn't notice before."  
  
"You gave no indication."  
  
"I am very good at that." His voice grew huskier, no longer masking his desire.  
  
Sango turned around his arms as Miroku gently pushed her against the wall. He brought his lips on hers, teasing them by pulling away and coming back quickly. Sango didn't mind. She only brought her hands up and around his neck, playing with his hair. Miroku, unable to hold out any longer, clamped his mouth on hers in a firm kiss. It was only unfortunate that Sango needed to breathe. As she opened her mouth and tired to pull away, a slick, wet thing slid into her mouth and played with her tongue. She moaned a little in surprise as she realized what it was. Her fingers tightened in Miroku's hair and he gave a small yelp of protest. Sango broke the kiss as she giggled.  
  
"Gomen," she whispered. Miroku responded by bringing his mouth near her throat, kissing a little here... sucking a little there... sending more shivers down Sango's spine... pressing her harder into the wall...  
  
"Kaa-chan!" Kaede and Ayame were still a ways off. Perhaps 10 yards. Miroku kissed Sango swiftly and hard before the two pulled apart. Sango closed the gap in her kimono Miroku had left, then swiftly strode by him, licking his ear a little.  
  
"Later," she murmured, before going out to meet Ayame.  
  
...  
  
Inu-Yasha sighed again. He had tried, unsuccessfully, for the past half hour, to think about anything but Kagome. The memory only hurt him more. The pain in his heart was becoming heavier by the second. He groaned a little as her image popped into his head, this time of her riding her metal cart. At that moment, a familiar scent reached his nose. The supoosedly dead scent of bones and earth, mixed with blood this time. His head snpped up but he didn't turn around.  
  
"Hello, Inu-Yasha," a voice behind him said. 


	9. Chapter 9

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 9  
  
He tensed as Kikyou approached and unsheathed her sword. The one she tried to kill Kagome with.  
  
"I thought you were dead."  
  
"What a coincidence. So did I. But now, I am still only half dead." She referred to her body, made of her bones and soil of the earth.  
  
"Why are you here?" Inu-Yasha turned around, knowing the answer to her question. Yet he still asked.  
  
"To kill you and that bitch."  
  
"Don't call her a bitch," he immediately snapped. Yet his glare softened. "I'm not fighting you, but I will stay alive."  
  
After a moment, Kikyou laughed bitterly. "You're not surpirsed that you didn't kill me. You're glad. You only desire to live out this fight, hopefully unscathed." She taunted him with a smile. "Your bitch had problems with you killing me, I take it?"  
  
"I said don't call her a bitch," he growled. He couldn't lose his temper now. And he wasn't about to deny anything. It was all true. He just hated how it had to come from Kikyou, of all people.  
  
"What of it? She has obviously left you." Inu-Yasha's hair somewhat visibly stood on end. "Ah there was something else? Well, it will not matter anymore to me. Where is she, by the way? I was counting on you two dying by my hands in the next half hour."  
  
"She's not here."  
  
"I can see that. So where is she?"  
  
"Back... to where she came from."  
  
"So she has seriously left you. No matter. I will track her down... as soon as I kill you." With that, she brandished her sword and slashed at Inu-Yasha's side. He ducked away quickly and leaped out of her range. "I won't fight you."  
  
"Will you die, then?"  
  
"No. Not this simply."  
  
Kikyou only responded to his answer by closing the gap between them and skillfully weaving the sword at Inu-Yasha, trying to catch his heart in particular. Inu-Yasha only moved out the way grimly each time. After a few moments, Kikyou realized she was getting nowhere. Inu-Yasha hadn't tried to slash at her once. It seemed he was determined not to hurt her in any way. He still had energy left to quickly move out of her sword's way. her stregnth was quikly depleting. She wasn't so used to the sword, and it had at least been half an hour since they had started. She pulled away and held the sword at her side. Inu-Yasha confusedly stepped away, wary of her movements.  
  
"Why did you stop?"  
  
"You are not fighting back."  
  
"I said I wouldn't."  
  
At that point, she noticed some bleeding in her side. Inu-Yasha looked to where she was holding her side and gazed into her eyes unfeelingly. Kikyou stared back hollowly.  
  
"You do not even have pity for me?"  
  
"You don't need my pity."  
  
"You don't even care?"  
  
"No. Not anymore. I have better things to care about."  
  
"Not... anymore... better things...?" She smiled bitterly all of a sudden. "That bitch. She's changed you."  
  
He was tired of correcting her. It only added to the heaviness he felt in his heart. He stayed silent.  
  
"She had made you softer... weaker."  
  
"She has done nothing. I did this to myself. I changed... for her."  
  
"That bitch... has accomplished what I have always desired to do."  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes grew wide with surprise.  
  
"I have always wanted you... as mine. I see now that you will never be that."  
  
Inu-Yasha continued to stare at her. What she was saying was suprisingly clear, even above the sound of the waterfalls.  
  
"I love you, Inu-Yasha."  
  
"I don't love you."  
  
She nodded in understanding, sadly. "I know." She smiled, gently this time. "I am too tired to hate you. I want to rest from everything. Good-bye, Inu-Yasha."  
  
"Good-bye. Stay away from me or Kagome, this time."  
  
...  
  
Kagome sat at her desk, finishing her math homework. This was one of the few times she understood it. Probably because she wasn't thinking of him anymore. Or at least not as much. Maybe she really was starting to get over him.   
  
No. She was only trying to lessen the amount on her plate at the moment. When she had come back, Sota, her grandfather, and her mother had watched her anxiously. There was something different about her, and her mother immediately confrtoned her about it. This wasn't like her at all, but she knew it had to be done. Learning that story... especially the part when her own daughter lost her virginty, shocked her mother so much that she couldn't speak for 10 minutes. But she knew it was her daughter's choice. She had only insisted that they go to the doctor to make sure Kagome wasn't pregnant.  
  
When they found she lacked child, they all left her alone, knowing what had happened. It was enough for her. She just wanted a little quiet time alone. Without anyone. Try to sort things out a bit. And she was doing so successfully. Or so she thought.  
  
When she felt a pull towards the well, she knew something bad had happened. She couldn't shake the feeling. Couldn't resist seeing... she dropped her english homework on the desk and ran out. Sota almost fell over on the way to his room, since Kagome ran so fast by him. Her grandfather felt an icy wind go by as he read his paper and pulled his sweater closer around him. Her mother only yelled for her to grab a jecket before heading outside,which she did.  
  
Why couldn't she resist it? The feudal era's call... why can't she forget about him? What was so great about this guy? He was overprotective, could be so obnoxious at times... but at the same time, he was sweet, almost kind... gentle, handsome... She shook him from her head and wondered what could be so wrong. Was it Naraku? Sesshomaru? At that thought, she forgot her surroundings and ran into the door to the shrine of the well. Holding her forehead and resisting the tears that threatened to pour out of her eyes, she cursed herself for thinking of Sesshomaru. She opened the door and stopped, staring at the well.  
  
It wasn't its normal, dark hue that day. More like purple, for some reason. The same kind of color that surrounded the shards they gathered so long ago... What did this mean? Was this bad? Good? Were the shards involved? A closer look told her that they weren't. This was the color... of a soul. She jumped into the well after a moment's hesitation. 


	10. Chapter 10

Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Before she even leaped out of the well, a purple haze met her inside it and seeped into her chest. Kagome gasped a little in surprise. Something was happening. She climbed otu of the well quickly. Just as her feet touched the ground, she fell to her knees, enveloped in more of the haze. She felt tired... mortally tired. Physciallly tired. Even emotionally tired. How could she feel this way all of a sudden? The haze wrapped around her firmly, and it continued to seep into her chest. Her eyes closed and she opened herself to it, embracing it with her mind. Somehow, she felt whole... more so than before. What had she missed? What was this thing?   
  
The haze willed her to open her eyes. She obeyed, and following its commands, stood up and began to walk towards the waterfall.  
  
...  
  
Inu-Yasha watched at Kikyou slowly committed suicide. Her soul gatherers were long gone. He had never even seen them but he knew they were.  
  
Kikyou was kneeling with her head bowed, her hands clasped together as if she was praying. She had released all of the souls that had kept her alive all this time. Now she was releasing her essence. Her eyes were closed, watching her previous life flash before her eyes. She smiled a little, sadly. She would miss times of joy and pain. At least she had felt them. Better to have lived and now to die. That way, one can truly know that life is precious. She opened her eyes and gazed at Inu-Yasha, who was watching her with interest.  
  
She shook her head. He didn't know. He would find out soon enough.  
  
She was here. She could feel her. The tugging of the soul... it didn't want to have to cross the time barrier. It wanted her to come. So she came. It was her soul after all. Kagome's time was now. Kikyou's was past.  
  
...  
  
Kagome climbed the rocks automatically, not noticing the sharp rock fragments bite into her hands. The purple haze tried to lift her unsuccessfully. She smiled. She was too heavy. In any case, she was going up, at least. What was up there? Anything familiar? She remembered how she had tried to kill herself on this waterfall. That was fruitless as well. Maybe the purple haze was telling her to die. She would do so. The haze was making her so tired, she wanted to go to sleep. Rest was all she needed. Then...who knows? Whatever comes after.  
  
She blinked several times, pausing on the rock formation. She couldn't die. Not now. She was just starting to put her life together. Not now, not like this. She climbed steadily at the haze's insistence, finally arriving at the top. There, she fell to her knees and closed her eyes immediately. The haze almost seemed to bowl her over as it rushed into her chest. She felt her back started to fall back down the side when a pair of strong hands caught her.  
  
He had been so surprised that she was here. Why was she? Was it something she had forgotten? What was that cloud that hung over her? He looked back at Kikyou, noticing the same cloud... but it was rushing from Kikyou... into Kagome. What did this mean?  
  
Suddenly, it hit him, hard. Kikyou's soul and Kagome's were the same. Kagome was only taking it back from Kikyou. He remembered how Kikyou was resurrected so long ago... how Kagome was almost an empty shell because her soul had gone to Kikyou's body. But she had reclaimed most of it... she was more than an empty shell. She was Kagome.  
  
He then noticed her falling back and quickly ran ver to lift her up. The cloud was cold. It brushed his cheeks, and Inu-Yasha thought he felt icy fingers caressing his nose and his hair. The same feeling met his lips, and he turned away quickly, pressing his lips together for warmth. He thought he heard a soft laugh before it was gone again.  
  
And then everything went still.  
  
The ice was gone.  
  
The wind was gone.  
  
Kikyou's body was gone.  
  
A small pile of earth and bones was in the spot her body had occupied.  
  
Kagome was in his arms.  
  
She was so beautiful, so peaceful. She was back where she belonged. He gingerly touched her face, brushing away her bangs. He brought her away from the edge and set her in his lap, putting her head on his shoulder. His hands gently stroked her hair, brushing it and caressing it. His eyes searched her for injuries, noticing her hands. Her palms were a bit bloody, so he picked them up and started to lick away the red liquid.  
  
A slight pressure against her hands made Kagome stir. She felt a strong, soft, warm... something... by her, and she snuggled into it instinctively. Must be her pillow...  
  
Inu-Yasha only welcomed her in, blushing a little. He looked around, raising his ears so that he made sure no one was watching. Satisfied that there was no one, he scooped up some water from the rushing fall (they were near the edge of it), and cleaned Kagome's hands.  
  
Kagome felt something press into her hands and recognized it as another hand. She entwined her fingers around the other hand's fingers and went back to sleep.  
  
Inu-Yasha's blush deepened. Was Kagome awake? He peered at her face. No... he was fairly sure she wasn't. So what was happening? She was the only sleeping person he had ever known who did these kinds of things. He stared at her sleeping against his shoulder and almost smiled. She was here again... in his arms... like he had dreamed for three days. Maybe her absence had been worth it... if only to feel this satisfied and content. He made sure no one was around again before he kissed her lightly, making sure not to wake her. Then he carried her back to Kaede's hut.  
  
...  
  
Inu-Yasha laid Kagome on the bed, trying in vain to get her arms off him. ON the way over, she had clamped her arms around his neck a bit tightly, almost choking him. Now he really was choking. He tried to pull away... there. Her arms had loosened. He had never known someone so strong when he or she slept. He tried to pull away a little more....  
  
But Kagome suddenly pulled his neck down violently, making him fall into the bed beside her. His face burned, and he was thankful no one would see him. It was night, every one was sleeping quietly. He had taken his time, trying to avoid waking her. Even though he crashed into a few trees, tripped and almost fell, and then cursed himself loudly for it, she never woke.  
  
Inu-Yasha repoisitoned himself, finding he couldn't scramble out of her hold.  
  
"Kuso, wench," he whispered. But his heart wasn't in it. He looked at her gently and found at least 5 inches of space between them. That was enough. He placed a hand over hers, which was on his cheek, and stared at her until he fell asleep.  
  
...  
  
Kagome stirred. There was something soft under her... a matress. A blanket was over her body as she stretched lazily. She smiled as she realized the sunlight was pouring in through a window. It was warm, fuzzy... she snuggled backwards into a strong form behind her.  
  
A strong form?! She turned around quickly to find a sleeping Inu-Yasha beside her. Not that she was complaining. He had been beside her the entire night? How did she even get to where she was...? She looked around the room, finding it to be familiarly in Kaede's house. Then she started to remember what had happened. The pull, the purple haze, the strong arms. That must have been Inu-Yasha. But what had happened. She stared at Inu-Yasha in confusion when she suddenly realized that she had no right to be here. No right at all. Yet... she touched Inu-Yasha's face gently, and was slightly amused when his face turned to her hand. She heard him sigh in satisfaction before his breathing came slowly and deeply.  
  
She loved him with all her heart. It hurt how much she loved him. But could she keep putting him in danger? It wasn't right. She shouldn't. She couldn't. So she carefully got off the bed and ran a hand thorugh her tousled hair. She quietly put her shoes back on, which were in the corner of the room, but the door. She turned the handle and was about to step outside.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
  
She froze and turned around. Inu-Yasha was sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and then staring at her fixedly. "Back home. Where I belong."  
  
"You don't belong there."  
  
"Says who?" Her voice was cold and clipped. She had to end it here, right now, so that it wouldn't hurt so much.  
  
"Says me."  
  
"Che. Then tell me where I belong. On second thought, don't. I don't need to listen to you."  
  
"But I'm going to tell you anyway. You belong here, with me."  
  
She stared at him in surprise. He never showed his feelings. Even now, as she stared at him, his face was a red as a strawberry. "Excuse me?"  
  
His blush deepened. He looked at her. "You have no idea how happy I was... when I saw you again."  
  
She ignored the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. "How did I even get here?"  
  
"I'm not telling you until you sit down right here." He patted a space on the mattress on front of him.  
  
She reluctantly sat stiffly. She didn't want to put him in danger, but she knew she had to find out what was going on.  
  
He began. "Your soul and Kikyou's are the same, right? So when Kikyou released all of her souls, you were pulled into my world, so you could receive whatever she had left. You remember when you almost lost your soul...?"  
  
"Hold on. You absolutely skipped the first part of the story. Kikyou's alive?"  
  
"Not anymore. I didn't kill her the first time." He said this gently, looking her in the eye. Kikyou would never be between them anymore. "She still lived. This time, she died on her own, when she realized that she could never take me again, because I belong to you."  
  
Kagome blushed at this. She knew what he was saying. She was reading everything loud and clear. "That doesn't change the fact that I slept with your brother because I didn't trust you. Because I was insecure... and he used that to his advantage. I could do that again."  
  
"Would you do it willingly?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Then you've learned your lesson. I don't care anymore. I forgive you. I love you too much to risk everything because of that. And I can see you weren't into it very much."  
  
"No..." She broke off.  
  
Inu-Yasha held her face in his hands. His eyes were pained and hopeful as he asked, "Will you please stay with me?" He blushed again.  
  
Kagome stared at him. He was right. She would never let herself fall anyone's tricks ever again. She trusted Inu-Yasha now. He had proved his love could transcend anything. What had she done in return? She saw dark circles under his eyes and noticed how thin he looked. Grief. She had caused him grief. She wasn't worthy of him. Her back stiffened. Now it was her goal to make herself worthy.  
  
Inu-Yasha saw the look in her eyes. He rushed. "You're not unworthy." Kagome raised an eyebrow, wondering how he had read her mind. "You've proved before that you love me... so many times I couldn't even count. You still stayed with me when I chose to protect Kikyou. You were always kind and generous, and I've always felt your love." This was too mushy for him. Every word that came out his mouth caused him to blush. But it came from the heart, so he really didn't mind so much.  
  
Kagome's eyes suddenly filled with joyous tears. "You're saying we're even?"  
  
"If I say yes, will you stay?"  
  
"If you tell me the truth, I might."  
  
"Yes, we're even. You've stuck by me... now I'm sticking by you."  
  
Kagome smiled as her tears fell. Inu-Yasha brushed them away, wondering why she was crying. She was supposed to be happy, dammit!  
  
The confused look on Inu-Yasha's face had her laughing even more. Inu-Yasha relaxed and looked at her.  
  
"Where do we go from here?" he asked as he grasped her hands.  
  
Kagome thought for a while before reaching up and holding the back of Inu-Yasha's head, pulling him towards her for a solid kiss, pouring her heart and soul into it. She felt Inu-Yasha respond without a murmur, caressing her cheek with his thumb.  
  
When she broke it, the dazed look on his face made her smile. "Let's start from there." 


End file.
